Letting my emotions have their head I am apt to stay as far away from God’s agenda as possible. Yet, if I keep my eye on the Lord and work to not get caught up in the worlds junk I can be immersed in God’s agenda and not even realize it. We pray for things and nothing happens. We struggle through what is seen into what is unseen honing our sight on the things of the spirit.
Being granted parole is so overwhelming. I look at the promise that God gave me in 1991 and look at where I am now and I am in awe…in awe at how faithful He is to His word and His beloved. So today I bask somewhere in between the pain in my body and the blessings on my life. I’m standing on His word when it comes to the pain. God took all of that on the cross and we are on this side of that cross. Either the cross took it or it didn’t. There’s no two ways about it. There’s no gray areas. There’s not any other way to look at it. If we do, we re-crucify Jesus with every missive we hold on to. Just like He took my sentence on that cross – my crime…our sins, our diseases, everything. Either He took it all or He didn’t. It’s really that simple. We’re the ones who complicate it all. We make our sin so huge, and it is, but we carry it around like a 100 lb sack of rotten potatoes. We hold onto it because it’s easy to hide behind when we’re in a pinch. We can hide behind our mellow drama. We can make it up if that helps us to feel better. But as we do, we are leaving ourselves open to things of the flesh to scream into our lives and things of the spirit to be but a whisper. When the spirit has been extinguished to no more than a whisper we will have a tough time.
God’s agenda is always better than our own and it is tough to see through all of the junk of the world to see what God is doing. He has had great plans for each of us since before we were born. We don’t even realize how great God’s plans is and until we are able to surrender our will into His hands we won’t even have a glimpse of the plans that God has. Cause underneath it all we have free will. He can have all of the amazing plans in the world mapped out for us and we remain blind to them our whole life long. So many blessings don’t even get flight due to our inability to see beyond our fleshly lives. I can but wonder if it drives God crazy how we ignore Him?
Think about it. He knows that it’s a chance He takes when He allows us to be born into this world. Even though we are made in His image we may not choose Him and He can’t force us to. Wishing that we’d just awaken to our eternal self He knows, and is confident enough in His Sons work on the cross that He doesn’t worry about whether we come or not. He knows we have to make the choice even though He first chose us. Oh the string of things can go on and on. His love for us is so rich and so deep and so few ever dare to believe deeply enough to see their dreams come true, prayers answered.
So I set in between being on parole – a whole new sense of freedom – and being on Intensive Supervised Parole. Each day now will not look like the last because it can’t. My future is just too full of God’s blessing and love. As the days pass I can surrender more sweetly because I am more and more secure in God’s unending love. He spoke and it was. It’s that simple. Just like creation. He spoke and it was. Why would His speaking things into our lives now be any different? We aren’t worthy? We aren’t good enough? We’ve not done this or we’ve done that? Is that how our God works?
To some degree. He wants a heart after His and there’s no fronting that can fool the Father. He knows what our motives are and He knows what or heart of heart is thinking. One can only fake goodness for so long. The truth will always come out. Always and I’m thankful for my truth. I’m thankful that who I am right now is the same person I will be when I get home and the same person I will be when I go to church. I want to be real to the world.
I know that it’s virtually impossible for everyone to believe in someone else’s authenticity. Usually that is because we don’t believe in our own. For that matter we struggle to believe in God’s authenticity. Ah…now we’ve come full circle. If we would just surrender…
Psalm 145:13 – Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. …The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.